dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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