I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
