I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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