i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
