I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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