i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
