I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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