just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
