The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He did a backflip because drugs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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