she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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