You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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