they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
