I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
