In America we eat man semen.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Randomize
