He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
