85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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