I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize