There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and she was petting her beer can
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
