Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
