Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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