I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
