Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize