hell yes lets make some ravioli
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
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There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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