my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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