Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he fucked my hip out of place.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize