This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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