dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
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Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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