I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
why is half of my head shaved?
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