nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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