Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Drunk walkin through police station. America
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
