I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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