i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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