Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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