mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
