you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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