Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
