I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
