I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize