I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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