someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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