were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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