i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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