two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
