i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
