I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
