like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
