if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
