Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
