Jerry, you need to find god
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And then my night got REAL pukey
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
