She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
