some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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