very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize