Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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