carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
