Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
time to smoke my breakfast
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
